THE KILLS-Heart Of A Dog.

23 05 2016

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“It’s life or death why I chew through the chain.
It don’t matter my love’s the same.
Go so far but never long.”

 

I tried to get out the words out when Heart Of A Dog came out under a month or so ago. I wrote, re-wrote, got annoyed, probably took a nap and left it alone. I think that’s my approach to most things. Good and bad. Go to sleep and hope it’s better/gone by morning. Or just have another nap. Now is the time where I think I can get the words out.

In 2 weeks, I have to let go everything Blood Pressures means to me in order to make room for Ash & Ice. It’s pretty obvious how much Blood Pressures means to me, one or 2 know more than others. It was a record that was a solid crutch during a time where nothing was working out. You know how it is. Songs like The Last Goodbye, Pots and Pans, Wild Charms- they got me out of bed. Baby Says and Future Starts Slow became the songs I lived by. Keep On Your Mean Side, No Wow and Midnight Boom played vital roles in my life at certain times. Their first record is everything to me, but Blood Pressures did something to me that goes beyond words. I wasn’t sure I could let that all go. But then, Doing It To Death happened, and I had this feeling that the new record was going to do something special. However, Heart Of A Dog happened and it was like Alison and Jamie yet again got in my head and unleashed it all. Lazy emotions brought to life by two strangers. What else can you do but let them suck you in.

I love how Jamie again gives us that machine gun sound. He’s aiming for you and Alison’s words are the bullets. They fire out these phrases that smack you right in the gut, and you start to question where you’ve been placing your thoughts. You really thought nobody had heard a peep. But they did. For me, there are a couple of lines that truly mean a hell of a lot to me for their own reasons. I don’t need to get really into it, and the words do speak for themselves. “I need you. Don’t ask me why it is. I want strings – attached. Unnatural as it feels.” Hand on heart, I wish I wrote that line. I wish I had it in me to write something as brutally honest and as raw as that. We’ve all felt that way at least once. It’s a strange feeling to posses, especially when “needing” something or someone stumps you. It doesn’t happen often, but when it does it truly stays with you. It goes from the back of your head to the front. Who knows what will happen.

If anything, I can fully relate to having the loyalty and heart of a dog. I’m probably as daft as one too. I always have this urge to wander off, but I know where home is. I think? If you feel something in your heart, then I always think you should go with it. That’s what I get from Heart Of A Dog, and it’s been one of the few songs I’ve had on repeat constantly recently. There’s something about the aggression in Jamie’s guitar and the delicate fury in Alison’s voice that makes me relate.

Another part of the song that really hits home is: “I get lost. But I always come around. It’s a strange fear, allows me to be found.” The wanderer will always return, and even amidst the fuck ups, honesty comes out. It has to. Sometimes you need someone to know what you’ve done, even if you’re cowering in shame. It happens to us all. Even if you’re not loyal to something or someone, you’ve probably got yourself into that kind of state. You’re always there even if you’re hiding yourself away. All it takes is one person to see through that. You’ll get there.

Although the song does sound aggressive, the lyrics are pretty vulnerable. The admission of feeling a certain way and letting the person know. Fuck..that can be massively scary and we all feel it. But it takes one person to pull out an honesty within us that other people have tried and do try to push down in us. Don’t let them win, I guess. Heart Of A Dog takes everything I love about Jamie and Alison, and out comes this 3 minute and 46 seconds worth of brutal honesty.

I’m completely and utterly ready for 3rd June. I’m ready for Ace & Ice to take over my life, to become some recluse that only wants to listen to this record and nothing else. We all need a band that has a hold on us. A band that gives us our own reality because nothing else will do.

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